Best Adult Jokes

1. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
4. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.
5. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
6. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
7. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
8. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
9. Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out.
10. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
11. Why don't scientists trust stairs? They're always up to something.
12. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
13. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
14. What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
15. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
16. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.
17. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
18. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
19. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? He was outstanding in his field.
20. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
21. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.
22. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A sham rock.
23. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
24. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
25. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.
26. What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
27. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? He was outstanding in his field.
28. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
29. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.
30. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A sham rock.
31. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
32. What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band.
33. Why did the banana go to the doctor? He wasn't peeling well.
34. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
35. What do you call a bear with no socks on? Barefoot.
36. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
37. Why did the rabbit go to the doctor? He had hare-loss.
38. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-gi.
39. Why did the pencil break up with the eraser? It was a sharp move.
40. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
41. Why did the baker go to the bank? He needed dough.
42. Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
43. Why did the pencil break up with the eraser? It was a sharp move.
44. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
45. Why did the baker go to the bank? He needed dough.