Joke category 1

1. A blonde was driving to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said Disneyland Left, so she turned around and went home.
2. Did you hear about the blonde and the jigsaw puzzle? She was so proud of herself because it took her only two months to complete it, and the box said 2-to-5 years.
3. Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe.
4. How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? She gets the Pop-Tart out of the toaster in one piece.
5. How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.
6. How do you confuse a blonde? You don't. They're born that way.
7. How do you keep a blonde busy? Write please flip over on a piece of paper and give it to her.
8. How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day? Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says lather, rinse, repeat.
9. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
10. How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
11. How do you measure a blonde's IQ? With a tire gauge
12. I once knew a suicidal blonde. Dyed by her own hands.
13. If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? The brunette the blonde would have to stop for directions
14. If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
15. Two blondes were walking along. One looked down and said, Those are deer tracks. The other said, No, those are bear tracks. They were still standing there arguing when the train came along and ran over them.
16. What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? Omg, donut seeds
17. What did the blonde yell in an emergency? What's the number for 911?
18. What do blondes do when their laptop freezes? She sticks it in the microwave.
19. What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence.
20. What do you call an intelligent blonde? A golden retriever.
21. What do you call five blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes
22. What do you call it when Suzanne Sommers tries to teach Madonna to cook? The blonde leading the blonde.
23. What do you call ten blondes standing in a row? A wind tunnel.
24. What does a blonde make best for dinner? Reservations
25. What does a blonde name her pet zebra? Spot
26. What does a blonde say when the doctor tells her she's pregnant? Is it mine?
27. What goes vrooom-screeech, vrooom-screeech, ...? A blonde driving through a flashing read light.
28. What happened when the blonde tried to blow up her husband's car? She burned her lips.
29. What is a blond doing when she gasps at the air? Collecting her thoughts?
30. What's the fastest way to drown a blonde? Tell her that the tiles on the bottom of the pool are scratch and sniff.
31. Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? Because they go answer the door.
32. Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing out all the W's
33. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? She was desperately trying to make up her mind.
34. Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours? Because it said concentrate.
35. Why did the blonde take 16 friends to the movies? Under 17 not admitted
36. Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
37. Why do blonde's wear pony-tails? To hide the valve stem.
38. Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes? To remind themselves that their Toes Go In First.
39. Why doesn't it work? There is enough hot air in her to last for three hours.
40. Why don't you let blondes take coffee breaks? If takes too long to retrain them
41. Why is the company only hiring blondes? They're trying to lighten their overhead.
42. Why marry a blonde? So you can park in the handicapped spots.
43. Why was the blonde depressed when she looked at her driver's license? She got an F in sex.