Funny Chuck Norris Jokes

1. A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
2. A mathematician said it was impossible to count to infinity. Chuck Norris then counted to infinity… Twice.
3. After Chuck Norris hits the gym, it needs to shut down for repairs.
4. Aliens are real. They are just hiding from Chuck Norris.
5. Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
6. Bigfoot claims he once saw Chuck Norris.
7. Bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw Chuck Norris walking in the mountains.
8. Burger King made their slogan Have it your way after Chuck Norris walked in and ordered a Big Mac.
9. Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
10. Children check their closets for the boogie man every night before going to sleep. The boogie man checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
11. Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
12. Chuck doesn't need to throw out the trash, it always throws itself out.
13. Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this glitch, Chuck Norris replied, That’s no glitch.
14. Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
15. Chuck Norris beats rock, paper, scissors. Cannon balls, tanks, super destroyers, exploding stars — I could go on.
16. Chuck Norris breathes air ... five times a day.
17. Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
18. Chuck Norris can beat Tetris in 5 seconds. He doesn’t even need to play.
19. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
20. Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard.
21. Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
22. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
23. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
24. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
25. Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
26. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
27. Chuck Norris can get a woman pregnant by pointing at her and saying Booyah
28. Chuck Norris can get in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it.
29. Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time.
30. Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
31. Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.
32. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
33. Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
34. Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
35. Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
36. Chuck Norris can pull a wheelie when riding a unicycle.
37. Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a round room
38. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
39. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
40. Chuck Norris can speak all languages even braille.
41. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
42. Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.
43. Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
44. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
45. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
46. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
47. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
48. Chuck Norris can use the Crane Kung Fu Style to lift a building.
49. Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in three moves.
50. Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
51. Chuck Norris decides if a helium balloon will float.
52. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
53. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, he only recognises the element of surprise.
54. Chuck Norris didn’t get a Covid-19 vaccine. Covid-19 got a Chuck Norris vaccine.
55. Chuck Norris died twenty years ago, it’s just death has not yet built up the courage to tell him.
56. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
57. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
58. Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
59. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
60. Chuck Norris does not use a spellchecker. A spellchecker uses Chuck Norris.
61. Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
62. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
63. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
64. Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
65. Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.
66. Chuck Norris doesn't need to shave. His beard is scared to grow.
67. Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear a watch, he simply decides what time it is.
68. Chuck Norris doesn't negotiate with terrorists. The terrorists negotiate with Chuck Norris.
69. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
70. Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
71. Chuck Norris doesn't strike gold, gold is the byproduct of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking rocks.
72. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
73. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
74. Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
75. Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe air, he breathes fear.
76. Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
77. Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number, people answer the wrong phone.
78. Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death, he won fairly and squarely.
79. Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.
80. Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet. He scares the sh*t out of it.
81. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a haircut. His hair is scared to grow.
82. Chuck Norris doesn’t pay taxes, taxes pay Chuck Norris.
83. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
84. Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
85. Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.
86. Chuck Norris doesn’t switch the light on, he scares the dark away.
87. Chuck Norris doesn’t take exams. He submits to no one.
88. Chuck Norris doesn’t turn the shower on. He just stares at it until it starts to cry.
89. Chuck Norris doesn’t use sanitizers, he just contracts his muscles and the germs drop off.
90. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
91. Chuck Norris doesn’t worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
92. Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
93. Chuck Norris eats bullets for breakfast. Better not be around when he burps.
94. Chuck Norris eats coconuts without removing the shell.
95. Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns and dragons.
96. Chuck Norris found the last digit of pi.
97. Chuck Norris gives his wife a still-beating heart every Valentine’s day.
98. Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
99. Chuck Norris has a diary, it is called the Guinness Book Of World Records.
100. Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear rug in his home. The bear is not dead
101. Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
102. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity more than once.
103. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
104. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
105. Chuck Norris has never cooked a hot meal. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
106. Chuck Norris has punched people so hard that their blood started bleeding.
107. Chuck Norris hates ties He prefers wins instead.
108. Chuck Norris hates ties, that’s why when he wears a tie, it’s not called tie. It’s called a win.
109. Chuck Norris hates ties. He prefers wins instead.
110. Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
111. Chuck Norris is able to make other people walk in his sleep.
112. Chuck Norris is able to sketch your portrait using an eraser.
113. Chuck Norris is able to slam a revolving door.
114. Chuck Norris is able to start a fire using an extinguisher.
115. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.
116. Chuck Norris is not afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
117. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
118. Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
119. Chuck Norris is the only man that knows Victoria’s Secret.
120. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
121. Chuck Norris is the only man who can fight himself and win.
122. Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
123. Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
124. Chuck Norris is the reason that Wally is always hiding.
125. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
126. Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s secret.
127. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
128. Chuck Norris lost his virginity… before both his mother and his father.
129. Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
130. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
131. Chuck Norris mines bitcoin with a pen and paper.
132. Chuck Norris named his daughter Mercy. The day she was born was the only day Chuck Norris ever had Mercy.
133. Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freeman’s life.
134. Chuck Norris never needs to flush the toilet. He just scares the crap out of it.
135. Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
136. Chuck Norris once ate at Taco Bell and didn’t get diarrhea…
137. Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
138. Chuck Norris once built a snowman. Out of warm water.
139. Chuck Norris once built a snowman… out of water.
140. Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
141. Chuck Norris once froze a volcano by looking at it.
142. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
143. Chuck Norris once hit a huge rock with his golf club. We now call it the Moon.
144. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
145. Chuck Norris once made a Slinky go upstairs.
146. Chuck Norris once made an onion cry.
147. Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
148. Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
149. Chuck Norris once punched a cyclops between the eyes.
150. Chuck Norris once punched a cyclops… between the eyes.
151. Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
152. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.
153. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that their ancestors felt it.
154. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard, his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and kicked the guy before he was born.
155. Chuck Norris once shattered the space-time continuum. He felt so bad, he put it back together.
156. Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, Bang
157. Chuck Norris once shot down an enemy plane with his finger. He pointed it at it and yelled: Bang
158. Chuck Norris once split a man in by giving him a wedgie
159. Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss. It’s never been seen since.
160. Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
161. Chuck Norris once threw a knife in Call of Duty and it killed someone in Battlefield.
162. Chuck Norris once took LSD just to give his hallucinations a bad trip.
163. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just the islands.
164. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
165. Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
166. Chuck Norris once went to Burger King and ordered a Big Mac. They gave him one.
167. Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.
168. Chuck Norris once won an arm wrestling competition… with his hands tied behind his back.
169. Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest. With a fish.
170. Chuck Norris only goes to sleep to let the Earth rest.
171. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
172. Chuck Norris ordered a Whopper at a Pizza Hut. And got one.
173. Chuck Norris played a game of rock, paper scissors against his reflection, and won.
174. Chuck Norris plays Jenga with Stonehenge.
175. Chuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver. And wins.
176. Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
177. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage. It’s now called Red Bull.
178. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Universe into existence. They called it The Big Bang.
179. Chuck Norris sacked his own shadow for being too slow.
180. Chuck Norris skipped school one day. That day has forever since been known as Sunday.
181. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
182. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
183. Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
184. Chuck Norris stands faster than anyone can run.
185. Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
186. Chuck Norris thinks, therefore the World is.
187. Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it exploded.
188. Chuck Norris tore up the Periodic Table. Because he only believes in the element of surprise.
189. Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
190. Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was too close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind.
191. Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
192. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat.
193. Chuck Norris Vs. Logic Jokes
194. Chuck Norris was exposed to Covid-19. Covid-19 had to go into quarantine for a month.
195. Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
196. Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous snake. And after a week of excruciating pain, the snake died.
197. Chuck Norris was the true star of Star Wars. He was the force.
198. Chuck Norris was wrong once. He thought he made a mistake.
199. Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back.
200. Chuck Norris wrecked his bicycle and skinned the sidewalk with his knee.
201. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
202. Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
203. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
204. Chuck Norris's belly button is actually a power outlet.
205. Chuck Norris's cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
206. Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
207. Chuck Norris’ email address is Gmail@chucknorris.com
208. Chuck Norris’ Hawaiian vacation house is on a volcano, ‘cause who doesn’t like a nice jacuzzi?
209. Chuck Norris’ heartbeat sounds like the US national anthem.
210. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
211. Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. The problem is, he has never cried.
212. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
213. Chuck Norris’ trash throws itself out.
214. Chuck Norris’s GPS never tells him to turn around.
215. Chuck Norris’s shadow once followed him too closely. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
216. Chuck Norris’s tears can cure cancer. The problem is, he has never cried.
217. Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
218. COVID-19 is desperate to develop a vaccine against Chuck Norris.
219. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
220. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
221. Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
222. Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories at the campfire.
223. If Chuck Norris travelled to an alternate dimension and fought an alternate version of himself, they would both win.
224. If Chuck Norris was on The Titanic the iceberg would have dodged the ship.
225. If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
226. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says it’s beef, then it’s beef.
227. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris.
228. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, ‘Two seconds till.’ After you ask, ‘Two seconds to what?’ he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
229. If you Google search Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
230. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
231. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
232. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
233. In an average living room there are a thousand objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
234. In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
235. In the beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing, and the universe was born.
236. It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
237. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
238. It takes Chuck Norris 5 seconds. To cook a minute steak.
239. It’s impossible for Chuck Norris to have a heart attack. Nothing attacks Chuck.
240. Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
241. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.
242. M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.
243. Mission Impossible was originally set in Chuck Norris’s house.
244. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all lethal.
245. Most people have nightmares about Freddie Krueger, Freddie Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
246. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
247. Normal people tell ghost stories at the campfire, ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories.
248. On New Year’s Eve, Chuck Norris promised that he’d lose 20 pounds. The next morning he shaved his chest and smiled as he realized that he’d lost 30.
249. On the 7th day, God rested. Then, Chuck Norris took over.
250. On the day Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths increased 25,000 percent.
251. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
252. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
253. Outer space exists for one reason and one reason only. It’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
254. Ozzy Osbourne once bit the head off a bat. In response, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman.
255. Right after inventing the phone, Alexander Graham Bell got two missed calls… from Chuck Norris.
256. Scientists say our Universe is constantly expanding. It’s actually running away from Chuck Norris.
257. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
258. Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.
259. Someone once asked Chuck Norris if he was willing to sell his pee as a canned beverage. That beverage is known as Red Bull.
260. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
261. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
262. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
263. The Dead Sea was alive before Chuck Norris swam there.
264. The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
265. The dinosaurs made the mistake of looking at Chuck Norris in a way he did not like. They never made the same mistake again.
266. The Flash discovered how to run at the speed of light when he discovered Chuck Norris was looking for him.
267. The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
268. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
269. The laws of physics always bend the rules for Chuck Norris.
270. The Loch Ness Monster claims to have seen Chuck Norris.
271. The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
272. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.
273. The Roundhouse kick name was born when Chuck Norris kicked around an entire house.
274. The seismic scale actually has a magnitude above 9, it’s called the Chuck Norris’ Sneeze.
275. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors.
276. The sun has to wear sunglasses when Chuck Norris glances at it.
277. The Swiss Army uses Chuck Norris Knives.
278. The universe is not expanding, it got on the wrong side of Chuck Norris and has been running ever since.
279. There are no streets named after Chuck Norris because no one would ever cross Chuck Norris.
280. There has never been a hurricane named Chuck because it would have destroyed everything.
281. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
282. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned up the sun.
283. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
284. There is no theory of evolution. There are just species that didn’t get on the wrong side of Chuck Norris… and species that did.
285. There no bridges named after Chuck Norris? Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
286. They wanted to put Chuck Norris on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t tough enough for his beard.
287. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
288. Tornadoes are actually a result of Chuck Norris punching the wind.
289. Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as ‘You Know Who’.
290. We Googled the last time a baddie defeated Chuck Norris. Zero results.
291. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
292. What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris came first.
293. What’s the strongest part of Chuck Norris? His opinion.
294. When Christopher Columbus discovered America, he was greeted by Chuck Norris.
295. When Chuck Norris can’t go to the gym, he goes shop lifting.
296. When Chuck Norris crosses the road, vehicles look both ways.
297. When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
298. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's pushing the Earth down.
299. When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
300. When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn’t push up. He pushes the Earth down.
301. When Chuck Norris drinks a bottle of beer, he literally drinks the bottle.
302. When Chuck Norris drops a sandwich, it keeps hanging in the air above the ground.
303. When Chuck Norris enters a building that is on fire, the Chuck Norris alarm rings.
304. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
305. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
306. When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
307. When Chuck Norris goes to a restaurant, the waiter tips him.
308. When Chuck Norris is in Rome, the Romans do as Chuck Norris does.
309. When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get in shape.
310. When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
311. When Chuck Norris looked into the abyss, the abyss looked the other way.
312. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters. Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
313. When Chuck Norris needs an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
314. When Chuck Norris peels onions, the onions cry.
315. When Chuck Norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him.
316. When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it actually affects the world economy.
317. When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.
318. When Chuck Norris steps on a lego, the lego cries.
319. When Chuck Norris tips the waiter, the waiter falls down.
320. When Chuck Norris uses the internet he can skip ads whenever he wants, ads are not able to skip Chuck Norris.
321. When Chuck Norris walks through airport security, he makes them take off their shoes.
322. When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
323. When Chuck Norris was born the doctor asked him to name his parents.
324. When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his Mother home from the hospital.
325. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
326. When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: What is courage? He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
327. When Chuck Norris went to Burger King and ordered a big mac, they made it for him, perfectly.
328. When Chuck Norris went to college, he told his father You’re the man of the house now.
329. When Chuck Norris went to McDonald’s and ordered a Happy Meal, it cried.
330. When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
331. When Chuck Norris’ parents had nightmares, they would come to his bedroom.
332. When death comes knocking on your door, normal people have a near death experience. When death comes knocking on Chuck Norris’s door, death has a Chuck Norris experience.
333. When God said, Let there be light Chuck Norris said, Say Please.
334. When lightning strikes Chuck Norris, the sky gets a scar.
335. When police officers approach Chuck Norris they say we have the right to remain silent.
336. When Thanos snapped his fingers, he disappeared. Chuck Norris doesn't like snapping.
337. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
338. When the teacher wanted to talk to Chuck Norris, he had to raise his hand.
339. When the Tooth fairy comes to your house she takes your tooth and gives you money. When Chuck Norris comes to your house he breaks your tooth and takes your money.
340. When we first landed on the moon, the astronauts noted there was print on the moon that said Chuck Norris was here.
341. You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.