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82+ Best Friday 13th Jokes: Celebrate with Laughter

Friday the 13th is an infamous day that is considered unlucky by many. Some people refuse to leave their homes or make any major decisions on this day. But why live in fear when you can celebrate with laughter?

Why Is Friday the 13th Considered Unlucky?

Before we dive into the jokes, let’s explore why Friday the 13th is considered unlucky. The superstition dates back to the Middle Ages and is believed to have originated from the Last Supper. During the Last Supper, there were 13 people present, and one of them, Judas, betrayed Jesus, leading to his crucifixion on a Friday. Since then, the number 13 and the day Friday have been associated with bad luck.

Friday the 13th Puns

  1. A coven of witches lost their way, so they had to take a stranger's help. They asked him, witch way to the Friday 13th dance party?
  2. At the Friday 13th dance party, the black cat saw her rival fish and said, I have a bone to pick with you.
  3. How do you know that it’s Friday the 13th? Everyone will tell you.
  4. Kruegers a jolly good fellow, Voorhees a jolly good fellow' is the most popular song among witches and spirits to sing on Friday the 13th.
  5. The black cat did all her laundry and hung them on a fe-line to dry.
  6. The black cat wore her favorite dress for the costume party on Friday 13th; she wore a purrr-ple gown.
  7. The cops arrested a black cat on Friday the 13th; they said she was a purr-patrator.
  8. The coven leader threw a grand party on Friday the 13th. This is the way to party when you are witch and famous, she announced.
  9. The witches' black cat fell off the broom while flying; it was cat-astrophic.
  10. To break the stigma surrounding black cats being a bad omen, the cat joined the red cross society and became a first aid kit-ten and started helping mankind.
  11. What do you call a corpse when it’s Friday the 13th? Enchanted by a voodoo priest if it’s walking and talking all around the place.
  12. What do you call a lucky Friday the thirteenth? A funeral.
  13. What do you call it if a car hits your mother-in-law on Friday the thirteenth? A luckier Friday the thirteenth.
  14. What do you call someone who wakes up on Saturday the fourteenth? Lucky.
  15. What starts with the letter J and gets called the reason for the season by some people who celebrate this special holiday? Jason.
  16. What usually happens on Friday the thirteenth? Nothing at all.
  17. What’s everyone’s favorite movie to watch on Friday the 13th? Pornography.
  18. What’s scarier than Friday the thirteenth? That time you walked in on your parents having sex.
  19. What’s that famous Stevie Ray Vaughan song about superstition? Oh, no, not Superstition. Texas Flood.
  20. What’s the most difficult part about the average Friday the thirteenth? Making sure that you survive it.
  21. What’s the most disappointing thing about it being Friday the thirteenth? The fact that Jason Voorhees is fictional.
  22. What’s the most unlucky song that’s ever been written and performed? Rebecca Black’s Friday.
  23. What’s the most unlucky thing you can do on Friday the thirteenth? Shoot someone.
  24. What’s the unluckiest day on the whole calendar? The day your dad forgot to put on a condom.
  25. What’s the worst part about waking up to realize it’s Friday the thirteenth? Realizing that you still have to go to work.
  26. What’s the worst thing that can happen on Friday the thirteenth? Getting married.
  27. Which character was the most important in the whole Friday the 13th movie franchise? Your mom.
  28. While trying a new magic spell, the witch crossed a black cat and an oak tree. The result was a black and white cat-a-log'ue.
  29. Who is the worst person you could hope to meet on Friday the thirteenth? Your real father.
  30. Why are people scared of going out of the house on Friday the thirteenth? Because of shark attacks.
  31. Why did Jason Voorhees have to see a psychiatrist in the first place? Because he couldn’t sleep.
  32. Why did Jason Voorhees kill his mother? A Freudian slip of the knife.
  33. Why did Jason Voorhees’ mother ask him to change into different clothes for supper? Because she thought that he looked a little camped.
  34. Why did the old man wake up on Friday the 13th and decide that nothing bad could happen to him all day? Because he had already gotten married.
  35. Why does Friday the thirteenth always seem to happen on a Friday?
  36. Why don’t people go to work on Friday the thirteenth? Because they don’t want to, that’s why.
  37. Why don’t people like going to work on Friday the thirteenth every year? Because they hate their jobs very much for the rest of the year too.
  38. Why don’t some buildings have a thirteenth floor? So that people can’t jump from it.
  39. Why is it more unlucky to be born on Friday the thirteenth? I don’t know, you’ll have to ask the company who made your parents’ birth control.
  40. Why is the accepted date for Christmas on the twenty-fifth of December? Because it’s not on Friday the 13th.
  41. Why should you never go out on a date on Friday the thirteenth? Because everyone knows it’s the one day of the year where you won’t be lucky.

Bad Luck Jokes

  1. How do you distinguish between a black cat and a frog? They say a black cat has nine lives, and the frog croaks every night.
  2. How was the black cat feeling on Friday the 13th? Purr-fectly happy.
  3. What is a black cat's favorite game? Hide and shriek!
  4. What will you call it when you are terrified on Friday the 13th, and all of a sudden, you witness an act of God in a mirror? A mirror'cle.
  5. Why do people believe that black cats always get their way with people? They say that the cat uses friendly purr-suation for manipulation.
  6. Why was the black cat feeling grouchy on the 13th of Friday? She was in a very bad meowd.
  7. Why was the black cat given the musical gig for the Friday 13th dance party? Because she was very meow-sical.

Jason Voorhees Jokes

  1. Do you know what Jason Voorhee's favorite desert is? It's I-scream.
  2. Jason Voorhees loves eating beans; do you know his favorite bean? A human bean.
  3. What happens when Jason Voorhees tells a joke? It kills.
  4. What will be the result if you cross Jason Voorhees with a box of breakfast cereals? A cereal killer.
  5. What will you say if Jason Voorhees starts chasing you? Please, stop Jason me.

Freddy Krueger Jokes

  1. A set of twin witches chasing you on Friday 13th is worse than being chased by Freddy Krueger because you never know witch is which.
  2. According to Freddy Krueger, it's best to visit a tailor on Friday the 13th, because they are very super-stitchious.
  3. Freddy Krueger got a job offer to clean mirrors. He took it because it's something he can see himself doing.
  4. Freddy Krueger was wearing a hat as he ran out of scare spray.
  5. There's a new serial killer in town who works at the bakery. They call him Bready Kruger.

Best Friday the 13th Jokes

  1. How do you know that Friday the thirteenth is going to be unlucky? The decapitated ghost in your bedroom tells you about it when you wake up.
  2. If a monster's working week begins on a Moan Day, when does it end? On a Fright day.
  3. Killers eagerly look forward to which day of the month? Fri-Die the 13th.
  4. What costumes do ghosts wear for a Friday the 13th dance party? BOO jeans.
  5. What did the ghost eat on a special Friday 13th lunch? He had some spook-eti.
  6. What do you think a ghost keeps in its stable? Night-mares.
  7. What should you always remember on Friday the thirteenth? Your pants.
  8. What should you never give someone on Friday the thirteenth? Herpes.
  9. What's more frightening than Today is Friday the 13th? 1st of every month, when rent is due.
  10. What's way worse than Friday the 13th? Monday the whatever.
  11. What’s the best thing you can do on Friday the thirteenth? Continue to be depressed about your last divorce.
  12. What’s the most common gift people give to one another on Friday the thirteenth? Herpes.
  13. What’s the worst time of the year to call someone? Never.
  14. When is it considered unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.
  15. Where do ghosts go for rides on Friday the 13th? They ride in elevators; it raises their spirits!
  16. Which key opens the door to a haunted house? A spoo-key!
  17. Which pasta dish do Italian people eat on Friday the 13th? Fettuccini Afraid-o.
  18. Which types of people consider Friday the thirteenth as lucky as any other day? The smart ones.
  19. Why could the mummy not go out on Friday the 13th? Because he was all wound up.
  20. Why did the skeleton not go and see a scary movie with his friends on Friday the 13th? He didn't have the guts.
  21. Why did the skeleton not want to go to the Friday the 13th dance party? He had no-body to go with.
  22. Why do people consider Friday the 13th unlucky? Because it’s not a Saturday.
  23. Why do people say that Friday the thirteenth is one of the unluckiest day of the year? Oh, don’t worry about it if you don’t know, you’ll find out.
  24. Why don’t some people go to work on Friday the thirteenth? Flu, don’t ask.
  25. Why is Friday the thirteenth one of the worst days to get arrested on? Because the judge will only be in on Monday.
  26. Why is Fright Day the 13th is a great day to be cherished? Because no one was struck by lightning on Thor's Day the 12th!
  27. Why is it Friday the thirteenth? So that it doesn’t have to be Wednesday the eleventh.
  28. Why should you play the lottery on Friday the thirteenth? Because when you lose this time, you’ll at least expect it.

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