Animal Jokes

1. How do bees get to school? A school buzz.
2. How do ducks celebrate 4th of July? Firequackers.
3. How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
4. How do you keep a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
5. How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.
6. How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It's one or the udder.
7. How much money does a skunk have? One scent.
8. If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay? A bagel.
9. What did the birds call the owl telling jokes? Hoot-larious.
10. What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Bison.
11. What did the dog magician say? Lab-racadabra
12. What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? An udder failure.
13. What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies
14. What do eats eat for dessert? Chocolate mouse.
15. What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog.
16. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
17. What do you call a dinosaur who wears glasses? A Do-you-think-he-sarus.
18. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
19. What do you call a tiger that drinks lemonade? A sour puss.
20. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investi-gator.
21. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrele-phant.
22. What do you call birds falling in love? Tweet hearts.
23. What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog? Dingo Starr.
24. What do you write in a rabbit's birthday card? Hoppy birthday
25. What is a bat's favorite sport? Baseball.
26. What is a cat's favorite song? Three Blind Mice.
27. What is a snake's favorite subject? Hiss-tory.
28. What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing? An elephant's shadow.
29. What is the name of the horse next door? Neigh-bor.
30. What it it called when a dinosaur makes a soccer goal? A dino-score.
31. What type of snake ate all the desserts? A pie-thon.
32. What's a frog's favorite game? Leapfrog.
33. Where do cows go for fun? The moo-vies.
34. Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the moo-vies.
35. Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snow bank.
36. Who wears shoes while sleeping? A horse.
37. Why are fish so smart? They live in schools.
38. Why are penguins so awkward at parties? Because they can't break the ice.
39. Why couldn't the duck pay for dinner? His bill was too big.
40. Why couldn't the duck stop laughing? He was quacking up.
41. Why couldn't the pony sing a song? She was a little horse.
42. Why couldn't the pony talk? Because she was just a little hoarse.
43. Why did the turkey join a band? So she could use her drumsticks.
44. Why didn't the teddy bear want dessert? He was already stuffed.
45. Why do dogs like cell phones? They have collar ID.
46. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze
47. Why don't cats like online shopping? They prefer a cat-alogue.
48. Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide? Because it's always spotted.

Food Jokes

1. How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.
2. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
3. What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? Where's Pop Corn?
4. What did the cake say to the fork? You want a piece of me?
5. What do you call stolen cheddar? Nacho cheese
6. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards? Dill me in
7. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time? Evaporated milk.
8. What kind of room doesn't have doors? A mushroom.
9. Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crumby.
10. Why did the girl throw a stick of butter out the window? She wanted to see a butterfly.
11. Why oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
12. Why was there peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.

Funny Jokes

1. Have you seen the movie Constipated? No, it hasn't come out yet
2. How did the cabbage win the race? It was a-head.
3. How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
4. How do hens cheer for their team? They egg them on
5. How do you keep an astronauts baby from crying? You Rocket
6. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it
7. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern...
8. How does NASA organize a party? They planet
9. What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weakdays
10. What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I'm coming down with something
11. What did one eye say to the other eye? Don't look now, but something between us smells.
12. What did one hat say to another?
13. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
14. What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me
15. What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed.
16. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison
17. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies
18. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court.
19. What did the little corn say to the mama corn? I miss pop corn.
20. What did the mom flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud
21. What did the policeman say to his belly button? You're under a vest
22. What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between us, something smells.
23. What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we'll go places
24. What did the thumb say to the finger? I'm in Glove with you
25. What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't peak, I'm changing
26. What did the triangle say to the circle? You're pointless
27. What did the volcano say to the other? I lava you.
28. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt
29. What do call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese
30. What do clouds wear under their clothes? Thunder-wear.
31. What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
32. What do you cakes and baseball have in common? They both need a batter.
33. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear
34. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waste of time
35. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta
36. What do you call a ghost's lover? His ghoul-friend.
37. What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor
38. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer
39. What do you call an old snowman? Water
40. What do you get if you combine a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite
41. What do you get someone who already has everything? A burglar alarm
42. What happened to the frog who's car broke down? He had to be toad.
43. What has a head and tail but no body? A coin.
44. What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.
45. What is a cat's favorite dessert? Mice Cream
46. What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The Space bar
47. What is more impressive than a talking parrot? A spelling bee
48. What is tall when it is young but short when it is old? A candle
49. What is the skeleton's favorite instrument? The trombone
50. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm
51. What kind of award did the dentist receive? A little plaque.
52. What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers
53. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch
54. What type of haircuts do bees get? Buzz cuts
55. What type of tree can you hold in one hand? A Palm Tree
56. Where do hamburgers take their dance on Valentine's Day? The Meat Ball
57. Where do pencils go for vacation? Pencil-vania
58. Where will you find Friday before Thursday? A dictionary.
59. Who walks into a restaurant, eats shoots and leaves? A Panda
60. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrr.
61. Why are sports stadiums always so cold? They're filled with fans.
62. Why aren't koalas actual bears? The don't meet the koalafications.
63. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
64. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired
65. Why couldn't the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck
66. Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants
67. Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school
68. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
69. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one
70. Why did the math book need to see a counselor? Because it was full of problems
71. Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? Because he was a Fun-Guy.
72. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out standing in his field.
73. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was going to be a piece of cake.
74. Why did the superhero flush the toilet? Because it was his doody
75. Why didn't dinosaurs eat clowns? Because they taste funny
76. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts
77. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs
78. Why do ducks make great police officers? Because they always quack the case.
79. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels
80. Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it's a little meteor
81. Why don't you ever see giraffes in elementary school? They are all in High School
82. Why is the baseball stadium so cold? Because it's full of fans
83. Why is there a gate around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in
84. Why should you never tell a pig your secret? Because it is sure to squeal.
85. Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? Because it's pointless.
86. Why was the computer chilly? It left a window open.
87. Why was the picture sent to jail? Because it was framed

Hilarious Jokes

1. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course The Empire State Building can't jump
2. ck knock. Who's there? A little old lady? A little old lady who? I didn't know you could yodel
3. How are dogs like cell phones? They both have collar id.
4. How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?By the footprints in the butter
5. How can you tell if someone is a good farmer? He is outstanding in his field
6. How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? Shocked
7. How do all the oceans say hello to each other? They wave
8. How do bees brush their hair? With honeycombs
9. How do billboards talk? Sign language
10. How do ice hockey players stay cool? They sit next to the fans
11. How do mountains stay warm in winter? Snowcaps
12. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch
13. How do you help a baby astronaut fall asleep? You rock-et
14. How do you keep a bull from charging? Take away its credit card
15. How do you keep an elephant from charging? Take away her credit card
16. How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed? Your head hits the ceiling
17. How do you make a lemon drop? Just let go of it
18. How does a barber drive to work? He takes shortcuts
19. How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experiments (experi-mints)
20. How does Spiderman do research? On the World Wide Web
21. How does the ocean say hi? It waves
22. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them
23. If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring?Pilgrims
24. If cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws
25. Knock, knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, cows go MOO
26. Name Spiderman's favorite month? Web-ruary
27. Name the kind of tree you can hold in your hand? A palm tree
28. What animal needs to wear a wig? A bald eagle
29. What breaks when you speak? Silence
30. What can you catch but not throw? A cold
31. What color do cats prefer? Purr-ple
32. What cookie flavor do monkeys love? Chocolate Chimp
33. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming? Here come the grapes (She was colorblind.)
34. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I'm going on ahead. (going on a head)
35. What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner
36. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants
37. What did the clock ask the watch? Hour you doing?
38. What did the frog order for lunch? A burger and a diet croak
39. What did the little tree say to the big tree? Leaf me alone
40. What do attorneys wear to court? Law-suits
41. What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas
42. What do cheerleaders eat for breakfast? Cheerios
43. What do cows order from? Cattle-logs
44. What do fish play on the piano? Scales
45. What do newborn kittens wear? Dia-purrs
46. What do snakes like to study in school? Hissss-tory
47. What do you call a cow that can't moo? A milk dud.
48. What do you call a cow who gets her way all the time? Spoiled milk
49. What do you call a cow who plays the trumpet? A moo-sician
50. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean meat
51. What do you call a dog that can tell time? A watch dog
52. What do you call a famous turtle? A shell-ebrity
53. What do you call a flower that runs on electricity? A power plant
54. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk
55. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
56. What do you call a mad elephant? An earthquake
57. What do you call a man with a shovel? Doug.
58. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop
59. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry
60. What do you call a seagull that lives by the bay? A bagel
61. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator
62. What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else? Nacho cheese
63. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese
64. What do you call the horse that lives next door? Your neighbor
65. What do you call two banana peels? A pair of slippers
66. What do you feed an alligator? Anything it wants
67. What do you get if you dip a cat in chocolate? A Kitty-Kat Bar
68. What do you get on every birthday? A year older
69. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire Frostbite
70. What does a triceratops sit on? Its tricera-bottom
71. What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs
72. What does it sound like when a nut sneezes? Ca-shew
73. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? The snow
74. What food is never on time? Choco-late
75. What fruit do twins love? Pears
76. What gets more wet the more it dries? A towel
77. What goes up and never comes down? Your age
78. What has a ton of ears but can't hear a thing? A corn field.
79. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck
80. What has hands but can't clap? A clock
81. What is a computer programmer's favorite snack? Computer chips
82. What is a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore
83. What is brown and sticky? A stick
84. What is the center of gravity? The letter V
85. What is the difference between elephants and grapes? Grapes are purple.
86. What is the strongest animal in the sea? Mussels
87. What is the witch's favorite school subject? Spelling
88. What kind of chicken is the funniest? A comedi-hen
89. What kind of dog always knows the time? A watch-dog
90. What kind of fish loves going to battle? A swordfish
91. What kind of fishing bait do librarians use? Book-worms
92. What kind of haircuts do bees get? Buzzzzcuts
93. What kind of keys are sweet? Cookies
94. What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Flood-lights
95. What kind of math do birds love? Owl-gebra
96. What kind of music do balloons hate? Pop music.
97. What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shell-fies
98. What kind of pizza do dogs eat? Pup-eroni pizza
99. What kind of shoes do frogs love? Open-toad
100. What kind of shoes do spies wear? Sneakers
101. What makes a sick lemon feel better? Lemon-aid
102. What notes do pirates love to sing? The high Cs
103. What nut has the most money? A cashew
104. What side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside
105. What starts with P and ends with E and has thousands of letters? Post office
106. What state does the most writing? Pennsylvania
107. What's a math teacher's favorite season? Sum-mer
108. What's a pirate's favorite county? Arrrrgh-entina
109. What's an astronaut's favorite meal? Launch
110. What's gray and goes round and round? An elephant in a washing machine
111. What's in the recipe for gold soup? Fourteen carrots
112. What's the difference between broccoli and boogers? Kids don't eat broccoli
113. What's the hardest part about learning to skydive? The ground
114. What's the largest gem on earth? A baseball diamond
115. What's the most famous fish? A starfish
116. What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee
117. Where did the music teacher leave her keys? In the piano
118. Where do birds invest their money? The stork-market
119. Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies
120. Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank
121. Where do hamburgers go dancing? A meat ball
122. Where do most horses live? In neigh-borhoods
123. Where do smart burgers sit? On honor rolls
124. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him
125. Where do you go to school to learn how to greet people? Hi school
126. Which country is fastest? Russia
127. Which hand is better to write with? Neither. It's better to write with a pencil
128. Which holiday do cows enjoy most? Moo-Year's Day
129. Which month do trees dislike? Sep-timber
130. Which planet loves to sing? Nep-tune
131. Which state is the smartest? Alabama—it has four As and one B
132. Which superhero hits home runs? Batman
133. Who eats snails? People who don't like fast food
134. Why are basketball courts always wet? Because the players dribble
135. Why are ducks good at basketball? They make fowl shots
136. Why are elephants so wrinkled? Because they take too long to iron
137. Why are elephants to wrinkly? Have you ever tried to iron one?
138. Why are fish so intelligent? Because they live in schools
139. Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them
140. Why can't a person's nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot
141. Why can't an egg tell a joke? It will crack up
142. Why can't bicycles stand on on their own? They're two-tired
143. Why can't Dalmatians win at hide and seek? Because they're always spotted
144. Why can't noses be 12 inches long? They'd be a foot
145. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go
146. Why couldn't the pony sing in the choir? Because she was a little horse
147. Why did the banana visit the doctor? He wasn't peeling well
148. Why did the bird get in trouble at school? For tweeting on a test
149. Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly
150. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide
151. Why did the computer get sick? It caught a virus
152. Why did the computer sneeze? Because it had a virus
153. Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crummy
154. Why did the doctor get mad? He ran out of patients
155. Why did the elephant paint himself different colors? So he could hide in the crayon box
156. Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot
157. Why did the man put sugar on his pillow? He wanted to have sweet dreams
158. Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep
159. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had so many problems
160. Why did the peanut get into a rocket? He wanted to be an astro-nut
161. Why did the piano teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes
162. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed
163. Why did the teacher have birdseed? For her parrot-teacher conference
164. Why did the teacher put on sunglasses? Because her students were so bright
165. Why did the teddy bear not want any dessert? Because she was stuffed
166. Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it's too far to walk
167. Why do birds fly south in the winter? It's faster than walking
168. Why do ducks always pay with cash? Because they always have bills
169. Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don't know the words
170. Why do hurricanes wear a monocle to see? Because they have one eye
171. Why do sharks swim in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze
172. Why do strings never win a race? Because they always tie
173. Why do you go to bed at night? Because the bed won't go to you
174. Why don't oysters share? They're shell-fish
175. Why is a football stadium always cold? It has lots of fans
176. Why is it dangerous to play cards in the jungle? Because there are so many CHEETAHS (cheaters)
177. Why should you not talk to circles? Because there is no point
178. Why was the broom late to school? It over-swept
179. Why was the math book crying? It had lots of problems
180. Why won't peanut butter tell you a secret? He's afraid you'll spread it

Knock Knock Jokes

1. Knock, knock. Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? Wow, I didn't know you could yodel
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Adore. Adore who? Adore is between us, so please open up
3. Knock, knock. Who's there? Annie. Annie who? Is Annie body home?
4. Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, I'm only joking
5. Knock, knock. Who's there? Broccoli? Broccoli who? Broccoli doesn't have a last name, silly.
6. Knock, knock. Who's there? Candice. Candice who? Candice joke get any worse
7. Knock, knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, but I'll take a peanut if you have one
8. Knock, knock. Who's there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, a cow says moo.
9. Knock, knock. Who's there? Dejav. Dejav who? Knock, knock.
10. Knock, knock. Who's there? Etch. Etch who? Bless you
11. Knock, knock. Who's there? Eyesore. Eyesore who? Eyesore do love you.
12. Knock, knock. Who's there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell.
13. Knock, knock. Who's there? Goliath. Goliath who? Goliath down, you look-eth tired
14. Knock, knock. Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and answer the door
15. Knock, knock. Who's there? Honeydew. Honeydew who? Honeydew you wanna dance?
16. Knock, knock. Who's there? Jimmy. Jimmy who? Jimmy crack corn and I don't care
17. Knock, knock. Who's there? Juno. Juno who? Juno how funny this is?
18. Knock, knock. Who's there? Lena. Lena who? Lena a little closer, and I'll tell you another joke
19. Knock, knock. Who's there? Leon. Leon who? Leon me when you're not strong
20. Knock, knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in.
21. Knock, knock. Who's there? Look. Look who? Look through the peephole and find out.
22. Knock, knock. Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help right now
23. Knock, knock. Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Normally I ring the doorbell.
24. Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?
25. Knock, knock. Who's there? Says. Says who? Says me
26. Knock, knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank Who? You're welcome
27. Knock, knock. Who's there? Watts. Watts who? Watts for dinner? I'm hungry.
28. Knock, knock. Who's there? Weekend. Weekend who? Weekend do anything we want.
29. Knock, knock. Who's there? Woo. Woo who? Glad you're excited, too.
30. Knock, knock. Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
31. Knock, knock. Who's there? WWa who? What are you so excited about?

Math Jokes

1. Do you know what's odd? Every other number.
2. How do you make seven an even number? Remove the S.
3. How do you stay warm in every room? Go to the corner, which is always 90 degrees.
4. How does the math teacher plow his farm? A pro-tractor.
5. If a farmer has 199 sheep, how many will he have when he rounds them up? 200.
6. What are ten things you can always count on? Your fingers.
7. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
8. What tables don't require any math? Dinner tables.
9. What tool is most helpful in a math classroom? Multi-pliers.
10. What type of carpeting did the geometry teacher use? An area rug.
11. What's a swimmer's favorite kind of math? Dive-ision.
12. Which king loved fractions? Henry the 8th.
13. Which knight created the round table? Sir Cumference.
14. Why is the obtuse triangle always so irritated? Because it's never right.
15. Why should you never argue with a 90-degree angle? They are always right.
16. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven, eight, nine.
17. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it wasn't greater than or less than anyone else.
18. Why was the geometry teacher late to class? She sprained her angle.
19. Why was the math textbook always so sad? It had a ton of problems.

One-Liners

1. I always wanted to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.
2. I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.
3. I just flew into town and my arms are so tired.
4. I tried to do my homework but my pencil broke, so it was pointless.
5. I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.
6. I was going to tell a pizza joke, but it was too cheesy.
7. I'm on a seafood diet: When I see food, I eat it.
8. I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, it's more of a rap.
9. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
10. The more this towel dries, the wetter it gets.

School Jokes

1. How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? Totally shocked.
2. How does a science teacher freshen her breath? With experi-mints
3. What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on.
4. What did the student say to the teacher after he missed the first day of school? No, ma'am. I didn't miss it at all.
5. What do kids do during recess on rainy days? Play bored games.
6. Where do pencils come from? Pennsylvania.
7. Why couldn't the music teacher start her car? Her keys were on the piano.
8. Why did the bikes get detention at school? They spoke too much.
9. Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
10. Why didn't anyone want to eat next to the basketball team? Because they dribble too much.
11. Why don't science teachers trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

Spring Jokes

1. How do bees brush their hair? Honeycombs.
2. What can fall but never gets hurt? Rain.
3. What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If you weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam.
4. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
5. What do you call a well dressed cat? A dandy lion.
6. What kind of bow can't be tied? A rainbow.
7. What's a chick's favorite food? Egg-plant.
8. When do monkeys fall from the sky? Ape-ril showers.
9. Why are the trees so forgiving? Every fall they say Let it go.
10. Why did the farmer plant $100 bills? To make his soil rich.

Summer Jokes

1. What did the pig say on a hot day? I'm bacon.
2. What do cats like to eat in the summer? Mice cream cones.
3. What do you get when you combine an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks.
4. What is a frog's favorite summertime treat? Hopsicles.
5. What type of music do whales listen to? Orca-stra.
6. Where do sheep spend their summer vacation? The Baaaaa-hamas.
7. Why can't you blame a dolphin for doing something wrong? They didn't do in on porpoise.
8. Why did the robot take a summer vacation? He needed to recharge.
9. Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
10. Why don't oysters share their pearls? They're shellfish.

Fall Jokes

1. How do trees get on the internet? They log on.
2. How do you fix a broken pumpkin? A pumpkin patch.
3. What did the sick pumpkin say? I don't feel so gourd.
4. What do you call pumpkin who works at the beach? A life-gourd.
5. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
6. Which is the cutest of all the seasons? Awww-tumn.
7. Who won the skeleton contest? No body.
8. Why did the tree fail their exam? They got stumped on every question.
9. Why is Dracula so easy to trick? He's a sucker.
10. Why was the jack-o-lantern so afraid? He had no guts.

Winter Jokes

1. How do polar bears make their beds? Sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
2. What do snowmen call their kids? Chill-dren.
3. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
4. What do you call a snowman on rollerblades? A snowmobile.
5. What do you call a snowman who goes on vacation in July? A puddle.
6. What do you call a snowman's dog? Slush puppy.
7. What do you get when you milk a cow in Alaska? Snow.
8. What is the best way to decorate a snowman's birthday cake? Lots of ice-ing.
9. What kind of ball doesn't bounce? A snowball.
10. Why don't mountains get cold in the winter? They have snow caps.