Beginner Math Jokes

1. A clerk at the butcher shop is 6 feet tall and wears size 10 shoes. What does he weigh? Meat. He works at the butcher’s shop.
2. After a sheepdog chased all the sheep into the pen, he told the farmer, All 40 accounted for. But I only have 36 sheep, the farmer replied. I know, said the sheepdog. But I rounded them up.
3. ​​An odd man was asked to do eight jobs; why did he only do four? He only did jobs one, three, five, and seven.
4. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.
5. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? She’d stop at nothing to avoid them.
6. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.
7. Do you know what seems odd to me? Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.
8. Have you ever noticed what’s odd? Every other whole number.
9. How are a dollar and the moon similar? They both have four quarters!
10. How do you make seven even? Subtract the S.
11. How do you make time fly? Throw a clock out the window!
12. I had an argument with a 90-degree angle. It turns out it was right.
13. Seven asked nine, Looks like you have put on some weight? Nine replied, ‘Yeah, I rounded up.’
14. Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.
15. There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can’t.
16. What are the three types of people in the world? Those who can count and those who can’t.
17. What did one math book say to the other? Don’t bother me. I’ve got my own problems.
18. What did the spelling book say to the math book? I know I can count on you!
19. What do a year and a dollar have in common? They both have four quarters.
20. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A roamin’ numeral.
21. What do you call a tea kettle whistling on the top of a mountain? A high-pot-in-use.
22. What do you call an adventurous number? A roamin’ numeral.
23. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.
24. What do you call the number seven and the number three when they go out on a date? The odd couple (but seven is in his prime).
25. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o’-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi!
26. What do you get when you multiply a New York City landmark by itself? Times Square.
27. What geometric shape removes spells and curses? A hexagon.
28. What is a math teacher’s favorite sum? Summer.
29. What is odd? Every alternate number!
30. What is the butterfly’s favorite subject in school? Mothematics.
31. What kind of math is a fitness instructor best at? Cross multiplication.
32. What’s a swimmer’s favorite math? Dive-ision.
33. What’s in charge of geometry? The ruler.
34. What’s the best tool for math? Multipliers.
35. What’s the best way to get a math tutor? An add.
36. What’s the most adventurous type of number? Roamin’ numerals.
37. Why are multiplication and division always right? Because they have facts.
38. Why can’t you trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? They must be plotting something.
39. Why did the kid always wear glasses during math class? They improve di-vision.
40. Why did the square fail its exam? Because of 2D.
41. Why didn’t the quarter jump off a bridge with the dime? It had more cents.
42. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.
43. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
44. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it’s never right.
45. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.
46. Why was 10 very happy when two was not around? Because 10, finally eight.
47. Why was the math book sad? It had a lot of problems.
48. Why was the math teacher suspicious of prime numbers? They were all odd.
49. Why was the student upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

Advanced Math Jokes

1. A father noticed his son was sad coming home from school one day. What’s wrong? The father asked. I really don’t like long division, the son answered. I always feel bad for the remainders.
2. A student turned in a blank sheet of paper for his math test, and the teacher asked him why. It was on imaginary numbers, he said. Can’t you see them?
3. An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and, after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc., extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire, and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, Ah, a solution exists! and then goes back to bed.
4. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first tells the bartender he’ll have a beer. The second asks for half a beer, and the third requests a quarter. After the barman places two beers in front of all of them, they say, That’s all you’re giving us? The bartender says, Come on, guys. Know your limits.
5. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river? It was 3 feet deep — on average.
6. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned in the lake? On average, most of it was over his head.
7. Have you heard the latest stats joke? Probably…
8. How do you get from point A to point B? Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
9. How does a mathematician plow a field? With a protractor.
10. I would tell you a joke about an infinite line… But it doesn’t have an endpoint.
11. The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic. But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.
12. There are three people applying for the same job at a bank: a mathematician, a statistician, and an accountant. The interviewing committee asks the mathematician one What is 500 plus 500? The mathematician answers 1,000 without hesitation, and they send him along. Next, they call in the statistician and ask the same question. He thinks for a moment and answers, 1,000… I’m 95% confident. When the accountant comes in, he is asked the same What is 500 + 500? He bows and replies, What would you like it to be? They hire the accountant.
13. Three statisticians are hunting, and they come upon a deer. The first aims and overshoots. The second undershoots. The third then shouts, We got him!
14. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
15. What do baby parabolas drink? Quadratic formula.
16. What do geometry teachers have decorating their floor? Area rugs!
17. What do parallel lines and vegetarians have in common? They never meat.
18. What do you call a 12-inch nose? A foot.
19. What do you call a mathematician who spent all summer at the beach? A tan gent.
20. What do you call a political party in favor of agriculture? Pro-tractors.
21. What do you call a student who’s great at algebra? An X-pert.
22. What do you call an angle that’s gone through the garbage disposal? A wrecked-angle.
23. What do you get when you add 2n to 2n in French? It sounds 4n to me, too.
24. What English king invented fractions? Henry the 1/8.
25. What geometric shape is lying in wait? A trapezoid.
26. What is the integral of one divided by a cabin? Log cabin? No, houseboat — you forgot the C.
27. What tool is best suited for math? Multi-pliers.
28. What was the geometry teacher’s favorite dance? The rhombus.
29. What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree? Geometry.
30. What’s the best way to flirt with a mathematician? Use acute angle.
31. What’s the best way to serve pi? A la mode. Anything else is mean.
32. Why can’t you trust a polynomial to stay the same? They have too many variables.
33. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? Its parents wouldn’t cosine.
34. Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? To get to the same side.
35. Why did the mathematician spill all of his food in the oven? The directions said, Put it in the oven at 180 degrees.
36. Why do numerators and denominators disagree? They’ve drawn a line.
37. Why should you never mention the number 2,885? Because it’s two gross.
38. Why was algebra so easy for the Romans? X was always 10!
39. Why was math class so long? The teacher kept going off on a tangent.

Algebra Jokes

1. Are you cold? Well, then go to the corner of the room where it's 90 degrees.
2. Hey, Algebra, stop trying to find your x. He’s never coming back… don’t ask y.
3. Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very hard? Because they always knew x was 10.
4. Why does algebra improve your dancing skills? Because you can use algo-rhythm.
5. Algebra can make you a better dancer. Do you know why? Because you can use an algo-rhythm.
6. Anne’s brother likes algebra a lot, that’s why she calls him algebro.
7. Dear Algebra, stop trying to find your x. They’re never coming back — don’t ask y.
8. Do you know what type of math birds like best? Owlgebra!
9. Do you know who invented algebra? An x-pert.
10. How does algebra improve your dancing skills? Because you can use algo-rhythm.
11. If I had a dollar for every time I've used algebra in my life, I'd have n dollars!
12. Relationships are a lot like algebra… You look at your x and wonder y!
13. What did 2n+1 say to 2n? I literally can’t even.
14. What did the confused kid say when he was asked what is 2n + 2n? It sounds 4n to me.
15. What did the students call their algebra teacher after he spent all summer at the beach? A tangent!
16. What do you call an algebra teacher that does magic on the side? A mathemagician!
17. What do you call two dudes who bond over math? Algebros!
18. What is a bird’s favorite type of math? Owl-gebra.
19. What's a ghost's favorite math subject? Boo-lean algebra!
20. What's a nocturnal bird's favorite type of math? Owl-gebra!
21. Where did the geometry teacher go on vacation? Who knows? All I know is that she’s polygon.
22. Which civilization was best at algebra? The Romans. For them, X was always 10.
23. Which knight created the round table? Sir Cumference!
24. Who’s the king of the pencil case? The ruler!
25. Why are 60 degrees and 30 degrees proud of their child 90 degrees? Because it is always right.
26. Why are math nerds and teachers great dancers? Because they know their algo-rythm
27. Why did the activist leave algebra? She couldn’t solve inequalities.
28. Why did the Romans think algebra was so easy? They knew x was always 10!
29. Why do pirates love algebra? Because x marks the spot!
30. Why is it hard to drink water that has eight ice cubes? It is two cubed.
31. Why is math hated by plants? Because their roots get squared.
32. Why was the student afraid of the y-intercept? She thought she’d be stung by the b.

Counting Jokes

1. A farmer counted 99 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 100.
2. Are monsters good at math? No, unless you Count Dracula!
3. Come on, all math puns aren't groaners… just sum of them!
4. Did you know that there are three kinds of people in the world? People who can count and people who can’t.
5. The farmer only counted 297 cows in the field… But when he rounded them up, he had 300!
6. There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't!
7. What are 20 things you can always count on? Your fingers and toes!
8. What did the calculator say to the student? You can always count on me.
9. What do you call a hen who counts her own eggs? A mathema-chicken.
10. What's two plus two? A math problem, silly!
11. Which numbers just won’t sit still? Roamin’ numerals.
12. Why did seven eat nine? Because you’re supposed to eat three squared meals every day.
13. Why did the student trust his abacus? He knew he could always count on it.
14. Why do teens always travel of groups of three or five? Because they can't even.
15. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven, eight, nine.

Corny Jokes

1. How do you make seven an even number? Just remove the s!
2. If you start making too many math puns, beware—that's the first sine of madness!
3. What do you get when you put a sin-gerine over a cos-gerine? A tan-gerine!
4. What's a swimmer's favorite math subject? Dive-ision!
5. Why couldn't four get into the club? The bouncer thought he was two square!
6. Why did the boy refuse to drink the water with eight ice cubes in it? Because it's too cubed!
7. Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? Because it had more cents!
8. Why didn't they serve beer at the math party? Because you should never drink and derive!
9. Why do numbers that aren't divisible by two have trouble making friends? Because they're odd!
10. Why is it hard to tell the numerator and the denominator apart? There's just a fine line between them!
11. You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that can't be divided by two!

Division Jokes

1. How can you solve any equation fast? Multiply both sides by 0.
2. The minus sign tried to explain to the plus sign how multiplication works, …but he only understood sum of it.
3. What do you get when multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction don’t shower for a month? The Odor of Operations.
4. What is a math teacher’s favorite place in NYC? Times Square.
5. What kind of math was Jesus the best at? Cross multiplication.
6. Where should you do your math homework? On a multiplication table.
7. Why did John have trouble memorizing multiplication tables? Because times were difficult.
8. Why did the student wear glasses in math class? To improve di-vision.

Fraction Jokes

1. 7 was standing on the shoulders of 5 and fell off, you know why? Because that is so improper!
2. A decimal number told a whole number There is no POINT in talking to you.
3. A kid said to his math teacher: To show you how good I am at fractions, I only did half my homework!
4. How can we know that the fractions m/c, n/c, and p/c, are all in Australia? All of them are over c’s (seas)!
5. I don’t get the point of decimals. I’m more partial to fractions
6. If 1/2 and 0.5 were siblings, who would be older? No one, because they are twins!
7. If a whole number and a fraction had a baby, who would it be? A mixed number.
8. Rate me on a scale of one to ten. Can I use fractions?
9. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator… But only a fraction would understand.
10. What do two and half-men mean? Father, Uncle, and little son.
11. Which king loved fractions? Henry the ⅛.
12. Why shouldn’t you argue with a decimal? Because decimals always have a good point.
13. Why was the fraction worried about marrying the decimal? Because she would have to convert.

Geometry Jokes

1. Do you know which tree is the math teacher’s favorite?
2. Do you see that circle over there? He’s really smart. He has 360 degrees.
3. How do you get warm in a cold room? Just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees!
4. I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. I think he must be plotting something!
5. I'll do any kind of math you want, except graphing—that's where I draw the line!
6. It’s so sad to think that parallel lines have so much in common…but they’ll never be able to meet!
7. What do geometry teachers use to decorate their floor? Area rugs!
8. What do you call more than one L? A parallel.
9. What's a math teacher's favorite kind of tree? Geometry!
10. What's the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle!
11. What's the most common shape at Disney World? A line!
12. What’s the best way to get a math teacher to like you? Use acute angle.
13. Why are obtuse angles always so sad? They’re never right.
14. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? Because his parents wouldn’t cosine.
15. Why did the circle get offended by the triangle? Because the triangle looked at the circle and said You’re pointless!
16. Why did the obtuse angle jump in the pool? Because it was over 90 degrees.
17. Why doesn't anyone talk to circles? There's just no point!
18. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? They’ll never meet.
19. Why should you never get in an argument with an obtuse triangle? Because they're never right!
20. Why shouldn’t you ever argue with a 90 degree angle? They’re always right!
21. Why shouldn’t you fight with a 90-degree angle? It’s always right.
22. Why was the geometry lecture so long? The professor kept going off on a tangent!
23. Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school today? Because she sprained her angle.
24. You know why I study geometry every day? Because it keeps me in shape!

Math Jokes for Kids

1. Did you hear about the mathematician who was depressed and gave up on math? Yes. He was afraid of negative numbers.
2. Did you hear those old math teachers never die? They just lose some of their functions!
3. I had an argument with a 90° angle. It turns out it was right.
4. The minus sign was talking to the positive sign. The minus sign asked, Are you sure I make a difference? and the other sign said I’m positive!
5. There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator, but only a fraction would understand!
6. Those parallel lines have so much in common, it's a shame they'll never meet!
7. What did Al Gore play on his guitar? An algorithm!
8. What did the Math book say to the English book? Wanna listen to my problems!
9. What did the math teacher say when his parrot escaped? Polygon.
10. What do geometry teachers have for decorating their floor? Area rugs!
11. What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach? A tangent. (A tan gent.)
12. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple
13. What happens when you cross a calculator and a dog? You get a friend that you can always count on.
14. What kind of math do you learn in English class? Add-verbs and add-jectives.
15. What shape is usually waiting for you inside a Starbucks? A line.
16. What's a math teacher's favorite sum? Summer!
17. What's the best way to get a math tutor? An add!
18. What’s a math teacher’s favorite season? SUM-mer
19. Where do math teachers go on vacation? To Times Square!
20. Who invented the Round Table? Sir Cumference.
21. Why can’t you trust a math teacher? They’re always calculating.
22. Why couldn't the angle get a loan? His parents wouldn't cosine!
23. Why did the math professor divide sin by tan? Just cos!
24. Why did the student sit on the floor to do her multiplication problems? The teacher told her not to use tables!
25. Why did the student trust his abacus? She could always count on it.
26. Why did the teacher decide to teach math? Because it's the only subject that counts!
27. Why do teenagers travel in groups of threes and fives? Because they can’t even.
28. Why was math class so long? The teacher kept going off on a tangent.
29. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
30. Why was the math test so sad? Because it had too many unsolved problems!
31. Why was the student upset when his math teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!
32. Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school? Because she sprained her angle.

Money Jokes

1. How can one become rich by eating? By eating fortune cookies.
2. If money starts to grow on trees, what season would everyone love? Fall.
3. What did the dollar name its daughter? Penny.
4. What kind of money do elves use? Jingle Bills.
5. Where can a fish borrow money? From a loan shark.
6. Where does the frog put its money? In the river bank, of course!
7. Why did the quarter not roll down the hill along with the nickel? Because the quarter had more cents!
8. Why did the student eat his dollar bill? His mother told him it was for lunch
9. Why does the quarter get in less trouble than the dime? Because it has more cents.

Pi Jokes

1. Come to the nerd side. We have pi!
2. Did you know 3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates?!
3. Did you know this nautical fact? 3.14% of sailors are pi-rates.
4. How did he get so round? He ate too many π’s.
5. How many bakers does it take to bake a pi? 3.14.
6. How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie? 3.14.
7. Pi was fighting with an imaginary number: Get real, pi said. Be rational, the imaginary number said.
8. The mathematician says, Pi r squared. The baker says, No, pies are round. Cakes are square.
9. What did pi say in a fight with its brother? You’re being irrational.
10. What did the mathematicians order at the restaurant on March 14th? Chicken pot pi.
11. What did you think of the movie America Pi? Meh, I give it 3.14 stars.
12. What do mathematicians and the Air Force have in common? They both use pi-lots.
13. What do you call a mathematician who doubles as a private investigator? Magnum Pi.
14. What do you get when a herd of sheep stands around in a circle? Shepherd’s Pi
15. What do you get when you cut a jack-o’-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
16. What do you get when you divide the circumference of the sun by its diameter? Pi in the sky.
17. What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter? Moon pi!
18. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter? Pi in the sky!
19. What is a math teacher’s favorite snake? A pi-thon.
20. What is the name of the soccer player who likes to solve math problems? Memphis Day-Pi!
21. What kind of snake is a math teacher’s favorite? A pi-thon.
22. What was Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert? Apple pi.
23. What would happen when Pi is fighting with an imaginary number? Get real, Pi said. Be rational, the imaginary number said.
24. What's an opinion without 3.14? It's just an onion!
25. What's the best way to serve pi? A la mode. Anything else is just mean!
26. What's the math teacher's favorite dessert? Pi.
27. What’s the best way to visualize infinity? Using a pi chart.
28. What’s the official animal of Pi day? The Pi-thon!
29. Why did pi fail its driver’s test? Because it didn’t know when to stop.
30. Why did Pi get its driver’s license revoked? Because it didn’t know when to stop.
31. Why isn’t pi on Twitter? Because 280 characters isn’t enough to express itself.
32. Why should you never start a conversation with Pi? Because it’ll just go on and on forever.
33. Why should you never start a conversation with pi? It’ll just go on and on forever.
34. Why should you try solving math problems? Because they are easy as pi.
35. Why shouldn't you let advanced math intimidate you? Because it's as easy as pi!
36. Why shouldn’t you be afraid of advanced math? Because it is as easy as a pi .
37. Why shouldn’t you eat too much pi? You’ll end up with a large circumference.
38. Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you? It’s just as easy as pi.

Math Puns

1. A statistics professor and a math professor worked together on a cookbook. They called it Pi A La Mode.
2. Did you hear about the over-educated circle? It has 360 degrees.
3. Do you know which tree is the math teacher’s favourite? Geometry!
4. Have you heard the joke about the statistician? Probably.
5. How are a dollar and the moon alike? They both have four quarters.
6. How can you make time fly? Throw a clock out a window.
7. How do mathematicians reprimand their kids? If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times!
8. How do you make seven an even number? Remove the s.
9. Is it true that old mathematicians never die? Yes, they just lose some of their functions.
10. My perfect partner is the square root of -100 — a perfect 10, but also imaginary.
11. Old mathematicians never die. They just disintegrate
12. The English book asked the Math book why he was so sad? You know what he said. Because I have so many problems.
13. Three statisticians were out hunting when they spotted an elk. The first statistician took aim but overshot. The second aimed and undershot. The third yelled, We got him!
14. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.
15. What did the witch doctor say after lifting the curse? Hexagon.
16. What do parabola infants drink? Quadratic formula.
17. What do you call a group of dudes who love math? Alge-bros.
18. What do you call people who are in favor of tractors? Pro-tractors.
19. What do you call the guy who spent the summer at the beach? A tan-gent.
20. What do you call the number seven and the number three who got married? The odd couple.
21. What do you need to grow your trigonometry skills? Square roots.
22. What happens if a math professor spends his entire summer holiday traveling around beaches? He becomes a tan-gent!
23. What happens when you hire an odd-job helper to do 8 jobs? He only does 1, 3, 5, and 7.
24. What happens when you put a root beer in a square glass? It just becomes beer.
25. When the math topper couldn’t solve an algebra problem, it started derive-ing him mad.
26. Where do math majors party? In bar graphs.
27. Which weighs more: 16 ounces of water or a pound of solid gold? They both weigh the same.
28. Who’s in charge of the school supplies? The ruler.
29. Why are angles under 90 degrees the most popular? Because they’re so acute.
30. Why did the student get upset when her teacher called him average? Because it was a ‘mean’ thing to say.
31. Why did the two fours skip lunch? They already eight.
32. Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with his friend the dime? Because it had more cents.
33. Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party? Just cos.
34. Why do mathematicians like parks? Because of all the natural logs.
35. Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.
36. Why doesn’t anybody talk to circles? Because there’s no point.
37. Why don’t broken calculators have friends? Because you can’t count on them.
38. Why don’t math majors throw house parties? Because it’s dangerous to drink and derive.
39. Why is math considered to be codependent? It relies on others to solve its problems.
40. Why is statistics never anyone’s favorite subject? It’s just average.
41. Why should you never fight with decimals? They always have a point.
42. Why should you never speak the number 288? It’s two gross.
43. Why should you never trust someone writing on graph paper? Because they’re probably plotting something.
44. Why was the fraction fretting about marrying a decimal? Because she would have to convert.
45. Why was the math book sad? Because it had so many problems.

Statistics Jokes

1. A statistician got soaking wet trying to cross a river. He thought he could cross, because it was one-foot deep on average.
2. Have you heard the one about the statistician? Probably
3. I’ll do algebra, and I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!
4. One day he drove a colleague to work who was noticeably uncomfortable at his driving. The colleague asked, Why do you always drive so fast through intersections?
5. There was a statistics teacher who would always accelerate hard when driving through intersections and then slow down after passing through.
6. To which the statistics teacher responded, Well, statistically speaking, you’re more likely to have an accident in an intersection, so I make sure to get through them as fast as possible!

Substraction Jokes

1. I’ve decided to become a math teacher, but I’m only going to teach subtraction. I just want to make a difference.
2. Ladies and gentlemen, my next song is entitled ‘Subtraction’. Take it away.
3. No matter how big or small, you can make a difference. It’s called subtraction.
4. Think of a number between 5 and 15. Multiply by 2, add 3, and subtract 7 from the answer. Now close your eyes. Dark, isn’t it?
5. What happens when you keep missing math class? It really starts to add up.
6. Which is the favorite season of a math number? Sum-mer.
7. Why do math teachers like ‘+’? Because it got SUM moves.

Best Math Jokes

1. A teacher asked her student Why are you doing math on the floor? The student answered, You told us not to use any tables!
2. Did you hear what the 0 said to the 8? Nice belt!
3. Do you know the special trick to turn seven into an even number? Remove the s!
4. Do you know the trick for making time fly? Throw a clock out a window!
5. Do you know what mathematicians do after it snows? They make snow angles!
6. Do you know why the two 4s didn’t go to the cafeteria for lunch? They already 8!
7. Hey, have you ever noticed what’s odd? Every other number!
8. How did the little kids like learning addition? They thought it was a real plus.
9. How do geometry lovers have beer? Pint A to pint B.
10. How do you teach math to a chicken? Show it lots of egg-samples.
11. How would life be without the subject of geometry? It would be pointless.
12. I met a math teacher who had 12 children. She really knows how to multiply!
13. If you’re cold, go to the corner of the room. It’s 90 degrees there!
14. Once there was a hen who counted her own eggs. She was a mathemachicken!
15. Related: Also try these hilarious Teacher Jokes to get your students laughing!
16. Swimmers love one kind of math more than all others, what is it? Dive-ision!
17. The English book asked the Math book why he was so sad. You know what he said? Because I have so many problems!
18. The farmer said, But I only counted 67!
19. The sheepdog said Yeah, but I rounded them up!
20. There was once a talking sheepdog. He ran up to the farmer and said All 70 sheep are in the pen.
21. What did the math book say to the other math book? I know I can count on you.
22. What do the moon and a dollar have in common? They both have 4 quarters.
23. What do you call a square that’s been in an accident? A WRECKtangle.
24. What do you eat during math class? Pumpkin PI.
25. What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds? A plane cheeseburger.
26. What don’t atheists do well with exponents? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.
27. What happened to the plant in math class? It grew square roots.
28. What is a math teacher’s favorite season? SUMmer.
29. What is an insects favorite subject at school? MOTHematics.
30. What is the solution to any equation? Multiply both sides by zero.
31. What tool do you use for math? MultiPLIERS.
32. What would you get if you crossed a dog and a calculator? A friend you can count on.
33. What’s a swimmer’s favorite kind of math? Dive-ision!
34. What’s the king of the pencil case? The ruler.
35. What’s the one shape you should avoid at all costs? A TRAP-ezoid.
36. Where do multiplication problems eat breakfast? At Time’s Tables.
37. Which tool is best for math? The multi-pliers.
38. Which tool is best suited for mathematics? Multi-pliers.
39. Who’s in charge in a pencil case? The ruler.
40. Why are circles so hot? Because they are 360 degrees.
41. Why are squares better debaters than circles? At least, they have a point and their arguments don’t go off at weird angles.
42. Why can’t your nose grow to be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
43. Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle? They were right for each other.
44. Why did the boy eat his math homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
45. Why did the boy put the ruler under his pillow? He wanted to see how long he could sleep.
46. Why didn’t the hyperbola feel sick? It was asymptote-matic.
47. Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? Because it had more cents.
48. Why is 69 so scared of 70? Because once they fought, and 71.
49. Why is circle an intelligent shape? Because it has 360 degrees.
50. Why is Karl Marx so fond of geometry? Because of Engels.
51. Why is the obtuse triangle always upset? Because it’s never right!
52. Why was the student doing multiplication on the floor? He was told not to use tables.
53. Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? It’s too cubed.
54. What did the triangle ask the old circle? Been aROUND long?
55. What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
56. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym? To stay in shape.
57. Why was the triangle the MVP of the basketball team? It always made three-pointers.