Top School Jokes for All Ages

1. What kind of school do you go to if you're...
2. ...an ice cream man? Sundae school!
3. ...a giant? High school!
4. ...a surfer? Boarding school!
5. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems!
6. Teacher: "Why are you late?" Student: "Well, the sign said 'School Ahead, Go Slow!'"
7. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line!
8. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class? Because his keys were on the piano!
9. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
10. Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out!
11. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
12. Bobby ate seven apples on the first day of school. Julia ate nine. What do they have? A stomachache!
13. Do you know why every book in the library is the same color? They're all red! (read)
14. How do you make 7 an even number? Remove the first s.
15. How does a bee go to school? It uses the school buzzzz (school bus).
16. How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints (experiments)
17. Knock-knock. Who's there? Pencil. Pencil who? Ah! Forget it, it's pointless.
18. Knock, knock. Who's there? Justin. Justin who? You're just-in time for lunch.
19. What animal isn't allowed to take an exam in school? A Cheat-ah (cheetah)
20. What are the coolest letters in the alphabet? The AC
21. What building has the greatest number of stories? The library
22. What can't you grow in a school garden? Human beans (human beings)
23. What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school? Looking sharp!
24. What did the buffalo say when dropping off his kid on the first day of school? Bi…Son! (bison)
25. What did the fish get on his math test? A sea plus.
26. What did the pen say to the pencil? What's your point?
27. What did the pirate what from his tests? High Cs.
28. What dinosaur had excellent grammar and vocabulary? The thesaurus.
29. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing? Bookworms
30. What do math teachers love to eat each summer? Square meals
31. What do you call a 12-inch nose? A foot!
32. What does a book do when it's feeling cold? It puts on a jacket!
33. What does a computer eat for lunch? Bytes
34. What does a duck use to solve math problems? A Quack-u-later (calculator).
35. What does a math teacher love to eat on Halloween? Pumpkin Pi.
36. What does a math teacher use to light up sticks at summer camp? Arithma-sticks
37. What does a spider love to do in school? Work on web-sites!
38. What does an Elf learn at school? The Elf-A-Bet (alphabet)
39. What does an overqualified circle have? 360 degrees.
40. What drink does a blackboard love? A hot-chalk-o-late.
41. What grades does a pirate get? High Cs (seas)
42. What is an English teacher's favorite dessert? A synonym roll (cinnamon roll)
43. What is the favorite tree of an English professor? A poe-tree! (poetry)
44. What plant is mathematical? Any one with square roots!
45. What school is the friendliest one? A Hi school (high school)
46. What school requires you to drop out to graduate? Sky-diving school.
47. What tests do vampire teachers give? Blood tests!
48. What tree is a math teacher's favorite? A Geo-me-tree (geometry)
49. What's a child's favorite summer activity? Going to sundae school!
50. What's a frog's favorite year? A leap year!
51. What's a math teacher's favorite dessert in the summer? Pi
52. What's a snake's favorite subject? Hisssstory
53. What's a wizard's favorite topic in English class? Spell-ing!
54. What's the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, Spit out the gum!, while the other says, Chew, Chew!
55. What's the smartest letter in the alphabet? The Ys (wise)
56. When is a blue book not blue anymore? When it has been red! (read)
57. Where did the pencil come back from vacation from? Pencil-vania (Pennsylvania)
58. Where do kids learn math in New York? Times Square.
59. Where do sheep go for a tropical summer vacation? The Baa-Haa-Mas (Bahamas)
60. Which alphabet in the English language holds the most amount of water? The C s (seas)
61. Which room can a student never enter? A mushroom.
62. Who flies home when their school is over? A bee student (B student)
63. Who is a teacher's best friend at school? A princi-PAL.
64. Who's the king of all the stationery? The ruler
65. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs.
66. Why can't you ever argue with a 90-degree angle? Because they're always right.
67. Why can't you use glue on your math homework? Because you'll keep getting stuck on the same problem.
68. Why could the kids not see the pirate movie during summer? Because it was ARRRRR-rated.
69. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays? Because everything was marked down.
70. Why did the echo get detention on the last day of school? It kept answering back!
71. Why did the elephant miss the last day of school? He was ill-i-phant
72. Why did the M&Ms want to go back to school? Because they wanted to be a Smartie.
73. Why did the music teacher get locked in school all summer? Because her keys were in the piano.
74. Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher told the class it was a piece of cake.
75. Why did the teacher have to wear sunglasses to class? Because her students are so bright!
76. Why didn't the sun go back to school? Because it already has like a million degrees!
77. Why do calculators make for great friends? Because you can always count on them!
78. Why do magicians always do well in math class? They can handle trick questions.
79. Why do pirates hate the alphabet? Because they keep getting lost at C (sea)
80. Why does a dog do well in school? Because it's a teacher's pet.
81. Why does a math book look so sad all the time? Because it's full of problems.
82. Why is arithmetic so heavy? Because you have to carry numbers all day.
83. Why is six scared of seven? Because seven, eight (ate), nine.
84. Why isn't there a clock in the library? Because it tocks too much!
85. Why was the broom late to class? He over-swept! (overslept)
86. Why was the egg asked to leave the class? It kept telling yolks! (jokes)
87. Why was the obtuse angle so sad on the last day of school? Because he wasn't right all year.