Turkey Jokes

1. Can you season the turkey for me? There's not thyme!
2. How come the turkey didn't eat dinner? He was already stuffed.
3. How did the turkey get home for Thanksgiving? She took the gravy train!
4. How do you tell the difference between turkeys and chickens? Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.
5. How does a limping turkey walk? It wobble, wobbles.
6. It's already Thanksgiving again, because time flies — even if turkeys don't.
7. The only ones more stuffed than us on Thanksgiving are the turkeys.
8. What dance should everyone do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
9. What did the leftover turkey say? Make me a sandwich!
10. What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google.
11. What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving? Quack.
12. What do Thanksgiving turkeys become after they die? Poultrygeists.
13. What do turkeys like to do in the summertime? Have peck-nics!
14. What do you call a rude turkey? A jerk-ey!
15. What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
16. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky.
17. What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost? A poultry-geist.
18. What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey? Enough drumsticks for everyone!
19. What does a one-legged turkey say? Wobble wobble!
20. What does a turkey dress up as for Halloween? A gobblin'!
21. What does a turkey eat for dessert? Peach Gobbler.
22. What does Frankenstein like to have on the fourth Thursday of November? Turkey with grave-y.
23. What is a turkey ghost called? A poultry-geist!
24. What is a turkey thankful for at Thanksgiving? Vegetarians!
25. What kind of key has legs but can't open doors? A turkey.
26. What kind of weather does a turkey like? Fowl weather.
27. What type of key can never open doors? A tur-key.
28. What's a turkey without feathers called? Thanksgiving dinner.
29. What's blue and covered in feathers? A turkey holding its breath.
30. What's it called when a turkey goes for a run? Fast food.
31. What's the best song to play while cooking a turkey? All about that baste.
32. What’s a turkey’s favorite month? They don’t have one, but they prefer any other than November!
33. When should you serve tofurkey? On Pranksgiving.
34. Where do you find a turkey with no legs? Exactly where you left it.
35. Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey, because it is always stuffed.
36. Why can't you take a turkey to church? Because they use fowl language!
37. Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey? He sensed fowl play.
38. Why did the turkey cross the road? He wanted people to think he was a chicken.
39. Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had his own drumsticks.
40. Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at dinner? Because he will gobble it up.
41. Why was the turkey put in jail? The police suspected fowl play.
42. Why wasn't the turkey hungry on Thanksgiving? It was already stuffed.
43. You know you overdid it at Thanksgiving when you thought the serving size for turkey was one.

Thanksgiving Puns

1. B-autumn's up!
2. Corn you believe it?
3. Feast your eyes on this!
4. Gobble 'til you wobble.
5. Have a gourd time this Thanksgiving!
6. Hey I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe.
7. I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe.
8. I only have pies for you.
9. I'm all about that baste.
10. Let the gourd times roll!
11. Let's get basted.
12. Let's give 'em pumpkin to talk about!
13. More rolls? You butter believe it!
14. My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey.
15. No fowl language!
16. Nothing gets butter than this!
17. Oh my gourd, I ate too much.
18. Oh my gourd, I'm stuffed.
19. Pie've been waiting all season for this!
20. Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!
21. That's a-maize-ing!
22. This stuffing is the tur-key to my heart.
23. Tis the season of gourdness!
24. What's cookin' gourd lookin'?
25. Will I eat leftovers for a week? I cran, and I will.

Joke category 1pumpkin Jokes

1. What do you call a pretty pumpkin? Gourd-geous!
2. What do you get when you divide a pumpkin's circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-pi!
3. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin from your roof? Squash!
4. What does a pumpkin like to read? Pulp fiction.
5. What's the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth!

Pilgrim Jokes

1. April showers bring May flowers. So what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
2. How did the pilgrims bring their cows to America? On the mooo-flower.
3. If the pilgrims sailed on the Mayflower, then what boat does a teacher sail on? Scholar ships.
4. What did a Pilgrim call his best friend?... My Pal-grim.
5. What did pilgrims use to bake cakes? May-Flour!
6. What do pilgrims bake a Thanksgiving cake with? May-flour.
7. What do pilgrims learn in school? Pilgrammar.
8. What do pilgrims use to bake cookies? May-flour!
9. What do Pilgrims use to make s’mores? Pilgraham crackers.
10. What’s the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook? A pil-gram.
11. Where did they take the Mayflower when it was sick? The nearest doc.
12. Why can't the pilgrims keep their pants from falling down? Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats!
13. Why did the Pilgrim eat turkey at the first Thanksgiving? They couldn't fit the moose in the oven.
14. Why didn’t the pilgrims want to make bread? It’s a crummy job.
15. Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down? They wear their belt buckle on their head.

Knock Knock Jokes

1. Knock Knock Who's there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome gravy to me, please.
2. Knock knock! Who's there? Annie. Annie who? Annie body seen the turkey?
3. Knock knock! Who's there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any leftovers?
4. Knock Knock! Who's there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very bad Thanksgiving joke!
5. Knock knock! Who's there? Don. Don who? Don eat all the gravy, I want some more.
6. Knock knock! Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee I don't drink eat this much!
7. Knock Knock! Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee I don't eat this much!
8. Knock knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the turkey stuffing!
9. Knock knock! Who's there? Phillip. Phillip who? Phillip a big plate of turkey and let's start eating!
10. Knock knock! Who's there? Tamara. Tamara who? Tamara we'll eat all the leftovers!
11. Knock knock. Who's there? Don. Don who? Don eat all the gravy, I want some more.
12. Knock Knock. Who's there? Hank. Hank who? Hanksgiving is here!
13. Knock Knock. Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up it’s time to feast!
14. Knock Knock. Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee I don't eat this much!
15. Knock knock. Who's there? Tamara. Tamara who? Tamara we'll eat all the leftovers!
16. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewy who? Dewey have to wait long to eat?
17. Knock, knock! Who's there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any Thanksgiving leftovers?
18. Knock, knock! Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open up quick, I have a funny Thanksgiving joke to tell you!
19. Knock, knock! Who's there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very bad Thanksgiving joke!
20. Knock, knock! Who's there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome gravy to me, please.
21. Knock, knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the stuffing, too!
22. Knock, knock. Who's there? Aida. Aida who? Aida lot more than I should have!
23. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for Thanksgiving all year!
24. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Gladys! Gladys who? Gladys finally Thanksgiving day!

Jokes for Kids

1. Be nice to your cranberry sauce or it'll turn into blueberry sauce.
2. Can anyone guess how Thanksgiving ends? With the letter G.
3. Can the Turkey jump higher than Uncle Jim’s house? Obviously. Houses can’t jump!!
4. Can you guess the caller tune of Turkey’s phone? Its Wing. Wing. Wing!
5. Can you guess the Pumpkin’s favorite sport? It’s the Squash!!
6. How did Salt and pepper welcome the guests at Thanksgiving dinner? Season(ing)’s greetings!!
7. How did the Thanksgiving dinner turn out to be so expensive?? It had 24 carrots.
8. How to save the Thanksgiving dinner if you accidentally fell over the potatoes?? Serve the guests with Squash Casserole.
9. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
10. If pilgrims travel on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on? Scholar ships.
11. If you ask the sweet potato if he is alright, what is he going to reply? Yes, I am!!!
12. Mom: Time to fix Thanksgiving dinner. Kids: Why, is it broken?
13. What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter G.
14. What can you call Turkey on the day following Thanksgiving? LUCKY!!
15. What can you call your Turkey if you see it running away? A fast food.
16. What comes at the end of Thanksgiving dinner? The letter R.
17. What did Aunt Joe tell his sulking nephew? You are looking like a (Pil)-grim
18. What did grandpa say when he was full? Oh my Gourd! I am too full!!
19. What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving? May the forks be with you.
20. What did the pilgrims use to bake their Thanksgiving desserts? May-flour.
21. What do you a call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrimage.
22. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
23. What do you get when you divide the circumference by diameter? The Pi-(e)!!
24. What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest.
25. What does a pilgrim call their sad friend? A pal-grim.
26. What happens if you eat too much at Thanksgiving? You get autumn-y ache!
27. What instrument does a turkey play? The drumsticks!
28. What is the best dress that you can wear at the Thanksgiving Dinner? The (Har)-vest
29. What is the best thing that you should definitely put into the Pumpkin pies? Your teeth!!
30. What is the cutest season? Awww-tumn.
31. What is the favorite dish of turkey at Thanksgiving dinner?? It does not have one as it is already too stuffed!!
32. What key will not open the door to your kitchen?? The Tur-key.
33. What kind of key can't open doors? A tur-key.
34. What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock.
35. What sound does a dizzy turkey make? Wobble, wobble.
36. What's a turkey's favorite Thanksgiving food? Nothing—it's already stuffed.
37. What's John Wayne's favorite holiday? Thanksgiving, Pilgrim.
38. What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
39. What's the number one key to a great Thanksgiving? A tur-key!
40. What’s the difference between a cranberry farmer and a pirate? Pirates bury their treasure and cranberry farmers treasure their berries.
41. When are the Turkeys most thankful to the people? The following Friday after Thanksgiving!!
42. When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? When you're looking at a dictionary.
43. When Uncle Fred asked Jason why he ate the leftovers for a week, what did he reply? I c(r)an and I will.
44. Where on earth can you expect Christmas to arrive before Thanksgiving? In a dictionary.
45. Which holiday is Dracula's favorite? Fangs-giving.
46. Which kind of glass does a Turkey prefer on Thanksgiving? A goblet.
47. Which side dish tells the worst jokes? Corn(y) bread!
48. Why couldn’t the band perform during Thanksgiving dinner? Because someone ate the drumsticks!
49. Why did the turkey cross the road? Because the chicken had the day off!
50. Why didn't the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey? There was no thyme!
51. Why didn't the pilgrim want to make the bread? It's a crummy job.
52. Why didn't the Thanksgiving band get to perform? Someone ate the drumsticks.
53. Why do pilgrims' pants always fall down? Because they wear their buckles on their hats!
54. Why do you think Turkeys love rainy days? Because they love fowl weather!!
55. Why is Thanksgiving such a clever holiday? Because it is in Know-vember.
56. Why is Turkey easily allowed to be a part of the Rock Band? Because he always brings his own drumsticks.

Thanksgiving Food Jokes

1. Do you know where you can get turkey stock in bulk? The stock market.
2. How did you find grandma’s turkey this year? I just looked next to the gravy.
3. My grandma made mashed potatoes from a box. That's it. That's the joke.
4. What did the president say when presented with a poorly cooked turkey? Is it too late for a pardon?
5. What do you tell your jokester cousin on Thanksgiving? You’re on a casse-roll!
6. What does grandma say when you burn the holiday meal? Oh, good gravy!
7. What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner? The casse-role.
8. What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes? Squash casserole.
9. What vegetables would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner? Beets me!
10. What's Frankenstein's favorite Thanksgiving dish? Monster mash potatoes and grave-y.
11. Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing.
12. Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving? Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
13. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
14. You know you overdid it on Thanksgiving when you cut yourself shaving and you bleed gravy.

Thanksgiving Diner Jokes

1. What is the best Meghan Trainor song to play while preparing Thanksgiving dinner? All About That Baste
2. What time do families sit down to Thanksgiving dinner? Halftime.
3. What's the best thing to wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-VEST.
4. Which two animals get stuffed at Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people (after Thanksgiving dinner).
5. Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at Thanksgiving dinner? Because he will gobble up all the food.

Thanksgiving Dad Jokes

1. A shopper looking for a larger turkey asked a grocery store worker if the small frozen turkeys get any bigger? He replied No, they're dead.
2. Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! Buildings can't jump.
3. What can never be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner? Thanksgiving breakfast.
4. What dish makes the worst jokes at a Thanksgiving dinner? The corny bread.
5. What do selfish people call Thanksgiving? Thankstaking.
6. What do you get if you cross a turkey with a banjo? A self-plucking turkey!
7. What does a turkey say to the computer? Google, Google, Google.
8. What face do pilgrims make when they are in pain? Pil-grim face.
9. What is the biggest difference between a turkey and a chicken? Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
10. Why did the farmer steamroll his potato field? He wanted mashed potatoes.
11. Why did the pilgrims' pants always fall? Because the pilgrims used to wear their buckles on their hats.
12. Why did the police arrest the turkey? He was suspected of fowl play.

Best Dad Jokes

1. What would happen if a cranberry became sad? It would turn into a blueberry.
2. Can a turkey jump higher than a house? Yes, because houses can't jump!
3. Fruit comes from a fruit tree, so where does a turkey come from? A poul-tree.
4. hat's the official dance of Thanksgiving called? The turkey trot.
5. How are Thanksgiving and Halloween different? One has gobblers, the other has goblins.
6. How can you incorporate some hip-hop into your family's gathering? Bring some Salt-N-Pepa.
7. How can you unlock the greatest Thanksgiving experience ever? By making sure to bring the tur-key.
8. How did the salt and pepper greet the guests on Thanksgiving Day? Seasoning’s greetings!
9. How did the salt and pepper welcome all the guests? By saying, Seasoning's greetings!
10. How does Thanksgiving always end? With a g.
11. If Pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on? Scholar ships.
12. If Pilgrims were still alive, what would they be known for? Their age.
13. If you call a large turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one? Goblet.
14. Knock Knock. Who's there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any leftovers.
15. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any Thanksgiving leftovers?
16. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ava. Ava who? Ava seen a play about the first Thanksgiving?
17. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have to wait much longer for the turkey?
18. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie who? Eddie more stuffing, and I’m going to get a stomach ache.
19. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Esther. Esther who? Esther any more sweet potato pie?
20. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Normally I wouldn’t eat this much!
21. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Phillip. Phillip who? Phillip a big plate of turkey and start eating!
22. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tamara. Tamara who? Tamara we’ll be having tons of leftovers.
23. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade?
24. Knock, knock. Who's there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren't you?
25. My friends told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I couldn’t quit cold turkey.
26. On Thanksgiving, what does Dad have in common with an exhausted baseball player? They're both likely to fall asleep between plates.
27. The day after the holiday, what did the fridge say when it was asked, Is everything alright over here? No, everything is all leftover here!
28. What always comes at the beginning of a parade? The letter P.
29. What can you call your brother who falls asleep after dinner? Your napkin.
30. What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace? Grace.
31. What did sick people do on the Mayflower? They went to the dock.
32. What did the aunt say to her sulking son on Thanksgiving? You're looking a little (Pil)grim.
33. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s pop corn?
34. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
35. What did the Pilgrim wear to dinner? A (har)vest.
36. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving? Good-pie, everyone.
37. What did the salad say to the butter who kept making jokes? You're on a roll.
38. What did the sweet potato say when it was asked if it was hungry? Yes, I yam.
39. What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy, I’m stuffed!
40. What did the turkey say when he had a headache? Google, Google.
41. What do turkeys do on Sunday? Have a peck-nics.
42. What do vampires call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
43. What do you call a pilgrim’s vocabulary? Pilgrammar.
44. What do you call a retired vegetable? A has-bean.
45. What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky!
46. What do you call gossiping with a turkey at the table? A side dish.
47. What do you call it when a turkey illegally tackles in football? A fowl.
48. What do you call the age of a Pilgrim? A pilgrimage.
49. What do you do when you accidentally sit on the sweet potatoes you made for Thanksgiving dinner? Bring squash casserole instead.
50. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a ghost? A poultrygeist!
51. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
52. What do you use to make Thanksgiving bread? May flour.
53. What does a vampire call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
54. What does the turkey think about holidays? They’re about family time, after that, it’s all gravy.
55. What does your uncle say when he's had too much to drink? I've got my beer gobbles on!
56. What don't you want to wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A white shirt or high-waisted pants.
57. What happened to the turkey who got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
58. What happens when cranberries get sad? They turn into blueberries.
59. What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
60. What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? Peach gobbler.
61. What is something that describes both political talk and filling up your plate of food? Choosing sides.
62. What key has legs and can’t open the door? A tur-key.
63. What key won't open a door? A turkey!
64. What kind of 'tude is appropriate at the family dinner? Gratitude.
65. What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he’s in pain? Pil-grimace.
66. What kinds of cars would pilgrims drive today? Plymouth.
67. What makes every Thanksgiving meal extra-basic? Pumpkin spice.
68. What makes Thanksgiving go as smoothly as possible? When everyone has been given a designated (casse)role.
69. What should you say when your family begs you to stop making these jokes? I can't quit cold turkey!
70. What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest.
71. What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose.
72. What smells the best at the Thanksgiving meal? Your nose.
73. What song should you listen to on Thanksgiving? All About That Baste.
74. What sound does a limping turkey make? Wobble, wobble!
75. What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing, wing!
76. What Thanksgiving treat is the most popular at the kids' table? Crayon-berry sauce.
77. What type of glass does a turkey drink from? A goblet.
78. What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
79. What was the turkey looking for at Toys R Us? Gobbleheads.
80. What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
81. What was the turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving? Vegetarians.
82. What will you serve at Thanksgiving dinner if you accidentally sit on the sweet potatoes? Squash.
83. What would a turkey be called if it turned into a ghost? Poultrygeist.
84. What would Michael Scott say while passing a plate of vegetables? Boom! Roasted.
85. What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost? A poultrygeist.
86. What's a popular Thanksgiving dance? The turkey trot.
87. What's a potato's favorite game to play? MASH.
88. What's a running turkey called? Fast food.
89. What's a turkey's favorite dessert? Apple gobbler.
90. What's one thing that you'll have in common with a teddy bear on Thanksgiving? You'll both be filled with stuffing.
91. What's something usually insulting, but not on Thanksgiving? A family member giving you the bird.
92. What's the forecast for Thanksgiving, regardless of what the meteorologist says? Sweater weather.
93. What’s Frankenstein’s favorite Thanksgiving dish? Monster mash potatoes and gravy.
94. What’s inside a genie’s turkey? Wishbones.
95. What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
96. What’s the best song to sing while you prepare your Thanksgiving turkey? All About That Baste.
97. What’s the best thing to put into a pie? Your teeth.
98. What’s the most musical part of the turkey? The drumstick.
99. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
100. When are turkeys the most grateful? The day after Thanksgiving.
101. When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving.
102. When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary.
103. When is turkey soup bad for your health? When you are the turkey.
104. Who didn’t have any friends at Friendsgiving? The turkey!
105. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
106. Who scared the cranberry? The booberry.
107. Who should you invite to your Friendsgiving? Your close group of Palgrims.
108. Why are Pilgrims' pants always falling down? Their belt buckles are on their hats and shoes instead.
109. Why are turkeys good at rebelling? They love a coup.
110. Why can’t you take a turkey to church? They use fowl language.
111. Why did Mom's turkey seasoning taste a little off last year? She ran out of thyme.
112. Why did the cranberries turn red? They saw the turkey dressing!
113. Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down? Because his belt buckle was on his hat.
114. Why did the policeman crash Thanksgiving dinner? To stop people from going over the feed limit.
115. Why did the turkey bring a microphone to dinner? He was ready for a roast.
116. Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To show he wasn’t chicken.
117. Why did the turkey play the drums in his band? Because he already had drumsticks!
118. Why did the turkey refuse dessert? He was already stuffed.
119. Why did the turkey run across the road? It was time for dinner.
120. Why didn't the turkey want dessert? He was stuffed!
121. Why didn’t the turkey eat dessert? He was already stuffed.
122. Why do turkeys always go gobble, gobble? Because they never learned good table manners.
123. Why do turkeys gobble? Because they never learned table manners.
124. Why do turkeys hate Thanksgiving tables? They're a fowl sight.
125. Why do turkeys hate the kitchen on Thanksgiving? It smells fowl.
126. Why do turkeys love rainy days? They love fowl weather.
127. Why do turkeys only star in R-rated movies? Because they use fowl language!
128. Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing? It will make him blush.
129. Why was the turkey arrested? The police suspected fowl play.
130. Why was the turkey asked to join a band? He could bring his own drumsticks.
131. Why was the turkey in jail? Fowl play.
132. Why were the beans accused of being jealous of the other side dishes? They were so green.
133. With Coronavirus being a possible concern this year, what's likely to be the most popular side dish? Masked potatoes.
134. With coronavirus still around this year, what's likely to be the most popular side dish? Masked potatoes.

Adult Jokes

1. I accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes, so now I'm serving squash.
2. If things go wrong with Thanksgiving dinner, don't lose your head. The turkey already did that for you.
3. My husband doesn't think housework is a full-time job. So for Thanksgiving, I served him a raw turkey because revenge is a dish best served cold.
4. What does every mom want to make on Thanksgiving? Dinner reservations.
5. What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerk-ey!
6. What glass do turkeys drink wine from? Gobblets.
7. What is the best song to play while preparing Thanksgiving dinner? All About That Baste.
8. What made the cranberries go red? Seeing the turkey dressing.
9. Why did the turkey go to the plastic surgeon right before Thanksgiving? To get a breast reduction.
10. Before he was roasted, what did the turkey say? OK, no insults to me. Roast me!
11. How did the turkey reach our home for Thanksgiving dinner?? He took the gravy train!
12. How does a roasted Turkey flirt? Hey I loved meeting you, and this is gravy, the best you can do now, is carve me maybe.
13. If things go out of control do not lose your head!! Cz you know the Turkeys already did that for you!!
14. On Thanksgiving, why didn’t the turkey bake properly? I’m not sure, but I’m guessing it’s some foul play.
15. What do you get if an octopus is crossed with Turkey? A drumstick for everyone.
16. What is traditionally served at the conclusion of Thanksgiving? Traditionally, the letter G.
17. What key, no matter how hard you try, can’t open doors? Turkey.
18. What should be the aim of Thanksgiving dinner? gobble till you start to wobble
19. What will happen if the cranberries on the table get sad? They will become blueberries!
20. What will your refrigerator reply on the day after Thanksgiving, if asked, is everything alright there? Unfortunately no, everything is leftover
21. What would the remake of Money Heist be called, if the Turkeys recreated it? The Poultrygeist
22. What’s a decent term for constipation after Thanksgiving? Turkey is in a state of limbo.
23. What’s the universal key to a lovely Thanksgiving? The tur-key
24. Who did Turkey thank on Thanksgiving? The vegetarians and vegans.
25. Why did the farmer use the steam roller on his potato field? He wanted to cultivate mashed potatoes!!
26. Why did the man separate the chicken and turkey?? Because he discovered Fowl play.
27. Why did Turkey carry a mic along with it to the Thanksgiving dinner? Because it was getting prepared to roast!!
28. Why do you often see the pants of the pilgrims falling off? Because the buckles are worn on their hats!
29. Why do you think Turkey visited the Plastic Surgeon just before Thanksgiving? Because it immediately needed a breast reduction!!
30. Why does Turkey always cross the road twice?? To prove he isn’t a chicken.
31. Why is the Thanksgiving Dinner so smooth? Because everyone had their designated (casse)- role.
32. You know what Thanksgiving is all about? It is all about that baste!!